Football vs Sex.
- Going to your boyfriend/girlfriend without being invited = OFFSIDE.
- Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.
- Condom = GOALKEEPER
- Condom breaks = PENALTY
- Abortion = RED CARD
- A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN
- Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL
- Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.
- Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.
- Having many chicks and banging all = MVP
- Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH
- After 2 rounds, you request for more =EXTRA TIME.
- Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY
- Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN
- Asking her ‘how do you want it’ = TAKING INSTRUCTIONS ON THE SIDELINE.
- A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR
- Girl being pregnant = GOAL
- Your best friend fucked your girl = TRUE PASS
- Having sex with a girl and your mum opens the door= = INJURY
- You and your girl break up= GAME OVER
- Girl telsl you to stop= YELLOW CARD
Virginity Test!
Man: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?
Doc : Get a Virginity test kit.
Man: What’s that?
Doc: Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of Blue Paint and a hammer.
Man: What? Are you mad?
Doc: Paint your right Ball Red and Left Ball Blue and as you remove your underwear, if your wife says, ‘that’s the strangest pair of balls I’ve ever seen”, Hit her head with the hammer!
How to explain Sex to a virgin!
A bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?” The husband replied, “Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’, So what we do is put the prisoner into the prison.” And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.” Turning on his side, he smiles and says, “Then we will have to imprison him again.” They made love again, the bride says, “Honey, the prisoner is out again!” The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, “Honey, the prisoner escaped again,” “Hey, it’s not a life sentence!” the husband yelled.
